The Vulnerability of Being You

Hello All!

Yes I'm still alive and well. In my senior year of college!!! WHOOHOO!Needless to say, I've been I moved into my own apartment. There will be creative explorations showing DIY things to spruce up a home and whatnot.  I've been working, studying, teaching, and traveling!! I went to New York! I'll have a post on that soon about my over all experience and pictures/videos.

But something else is new too. I'm transitioning from relaxed hair to my natural curl pattern. There is plenty of information on how to transition and what to expect hair wise. I have to say what took me for a loop was how emotionally scary transitioning can be.

I have always been a pretty confident person. Note I said confident. NOT conceited. And I never really have question what people think, etc as much as I have while transitioning. But when you feel you look horrible because you have fuzzies everywhere or because your hair is flying every which way, it's easy to doubt yourself.There have been many a time where I have looked in a mirror and felt ugly because my hair would not go how I wanted it...or the gel was not slicking down my edges enough.

But it's interesting. Because not only am I accepting my hair...it feels as if I'm embracing me. My mind is transitioning too (if that makes any sense). It's accepting this new aspect of me. I love my curls and the more they come in the more I love it. It takes me 3 hours to detangle and braid my hair in a braid out. And although my arms tingle with pain after 1 1/2 hours of detangling I am fascinated by my curls. They are beautiful. And I catch myself smiling in the mirror glimpsing my beauty. I cannot wait until my whole head is filled with these curls. Right now I feel odd because about 4-5 inches of my hair is curly. The rest is limp and straight. These areas do not match whatsoever and it looks odd.

What has helped the most is looking in the mirror and reminding myself that the world will not notice my fuzzies as much as I do. And to figure out styles that I am comfortable with that make me feel like I look good. I have gotten lots of compliments on my braidouts and although at first I did not like it, I do now.

I have adjusted to the fact that my hair is not going to lay down nicely like it use to and that it takes longer to detangle (but I only detangle once a week so it trades off). I realized I'm showing the world a side of me that even I have not seen before. And it's scary, thrilling, mystifying, and exciting all at the same time.

Creative Exploration with an update/venting

Hello all!

I have another creative exploration for you! But before we get to that I also want to say Ch. 10 of the Chief's Wife is up Hurray! Click here to check it out http://www.booksie.com/religion_and_spirituality/novel/biancajeane/the-chiefs-wife/chapter/10

Now for the venting...is anyone else being forced to change their blogspot because Google says so. Am I the only one sick and tired of all these corporations changing things that are already working fine to me? First Facebook now blogspot. If I don't like the changes I may transfer my blog to wordpress. Just a forwarning...I mean goodness gracious! Leave it alone please. I wish they'd ask and give us users a choice.

Ok done with that now one to the creative exploration. This is a No Sew Fleece Double layer blanket tutorial. You can find a lot of these already on youtube, but I decided to do a tutorial anyway : ) so check out the video and enjoy a nice and cheap way to make a fabulous blanket!

P.S.

CH. 9 of the Chief's Wife is up : D

Finally...I know!

http://www.booksie.com/religion_and_spirituality/novel/biancajeane/the-chiefs-wife/chapter/9

I Spy Curls: Going Natural

So I've decided to transition and guess what?! I spy curls and I like them : ). Although it's only been about 3 months and I have already contemplated getting a relaxer due to the long and strenous process of coobing my hair after washing it the other night...I loved seeing my curls. So I figure it's worth it.

Unsurprisingly, I have wanted to "go natural" since I got saved. That's when I really searched youtue and got into hair. Because if I could no longer trim and cut it, I had better take care of it lol. But I found women who were transitioning and I was fasinated with their curls. I talked to a lot of black women in my church and some said it was a hard but rewarding journey and others said it was nearly impossible because your hair would break off.

I batteld with wanting to maintain my length(which is the longest it's ever been) and starting on a journey I know will result in breakage, more hard work, and a high possibility of me looking not so pretty for a while. But you know, I am ready for breakage. I actually hope it will break out...my prayers to God have been "Lord please let my natural hair get long enough so I can put it in a bun or something. And then let my relaxed hair break off" lol. Does it work like that? Who knows. We'll see lol. But even if I cannot put it into a bun, I will suffer with braids (ugh-long story) and other things. I do not want weaves (we have a bad history) so the goal is to transition with my hair.

Wish me luck and keep me and my hair in your prayers!
Pictures will be arriving soon.
-Bianca

Creative Exploration: Jet Pack Costume

VBS was awhile ago, but I wanted this to be the first post of my "creative explorations" as I have deemed them. Be prepared to see many many more. I found I like to create and make things :D (and it's cheaper). So I made two different costumes, but liked this one the best. And it seemed everyone liked this one the best so I'll share how I made it.

First I went to this site and saw how she made it. Mine is a cheaper, less intense version lol

Materials This is just what I used, feel free to substitute:

-Hot Glue gun & glue sticks - Aluminum foil -Construction paper

-Two water bottles and caps - 2 toilet & 2 paper towel roll (4 total)


-Two pieces of felt ( for straps) -Cereal (or in my case Cheese it) Box





I wasn't planning on making a tutorial when I made it, so I just have the finished results. BUT since several people asked how I made it, I figured I'd do a tutorial (just in case people need it?) and so here goes my instructions.

1. Wrap Cheese it Box (or whatever box you have), water bottle, toilet and paper towel rolls in aluminum foil. The best way is to hot glue the water bottle nozzle into the paper towel roll and then wrap the aluminum around both.

2. Hot glue your felt straps to the now covered box. (Make sure the straps wil fit your arm BEFORE cutting them).

3. Hot glue the water bottle and paper towel and toilet paper rolls onto the front of the box (Side opposite your straps).

4.Hot glue bottle caps (these are your buttons).

5. Cut out construction paper. I chose orange and red and glue that to the inside of the bottom of the toilet paper roll. This is your fire.

Your done! Not the best instructions, but next time I make something, I'll make a video...it's easier for me to show you.

(Me looking worn out at break lol) I was tired! Excuse the expression

Speaking My Heart

So, as you can see I decided to change the blog. No new address for me...but I did change the background and other things. Prepare to see new things on here...I'm hoping to post outfits I LOVE, hairstyles and updates. : DD

Here something that caught my attention the first time I heard it. Air 1 has this featured as the free song of the week so take advantage of it (I know I did). Below is a youtube video of the band Unspoken performing this. He so eloquently explains what initially drew me to this song. You mess up and sometimes you think you'll never be able to change. But you don't change you. God changes you. Even knowing this, I myself have and am having a hard time changing and letting some things go. I know I need to and as of now I'm in transition. Just as he states, it takes a minute to realize you gotta change and then another second or two to actually make that thought a reality. I'm there right now. And it doesn't hurt that his voice is amazing. Love it. You can feel the message there and it's so soulful. If Unspoken ever reads my meager blog, Thank you for this song and singing it the way God meant for this song to be sung.

Without further ado...

http://youtu.be/B_N6sn1LLX8

Sorry but the link will have to suffice. I cannot figure out the new youtube embed video. Yay to changes no one can figure out. (sorry, just frustrated that these people cannont leave things alone and working.) If you know how to embed the new way please help!

Update

Wow time flies...it really really does. Junior year of college is finished. I am proud of myself : DD I got 4 A's and 1 C. I am happy about that C, because it was a really hard class and as much as I would have liked a B, I knew when I got my midterm I was destined to get a C in that class. But I overloaded last quarter 28 units to be exact, I worked, and did a sunday school(although I took a step back), I planned a bridal shower, attended a wedding, went to Bridal expos (the things we do for friends) and despite all that I am proud of my 4 A's. Just saying it brings a smile. Thank you Lord for my ability to stay focused on school.

But I am 21, a rising senior (HURRAY!!!) in college. I have two more years until I am able to teach, and I am exited. Sometimes it just hits you, wow I'm a woman. I know I've lawfully been a woman since 18, but it just seems like I am a woman now. No longer a girl.

I am transitioning in life. I feel it. God is moving me in a new direction. I feel like I'm starting brand new...even though I was saved 3 years ago. I am transitioning in life and excitingly with my hair (moew news and pictures with that later). I have an urge to start a different blog. I don't know if I will yet...but that's what I want to do. It'll still be the same rambling me...but what is the need? Can't I just revamp this one. I suppose, but I want to do something different. Who knows what it will be.

For people who want an update to my novel, it's a'comin. I am debating a couple things, but never fear,  I am still writing. Last school year was hectic. But you will get some chapters out of me! Next time I write a novel, I think I'll wait until I'm done to post lol.