Growing up!!

Wow!  I didn't realize that I have not blogged in so long. But as you can see from my lack of blogging, I've been busy. After January, life got crazy. My mom moved in with me, and I am taking care of her, I was working, attending class, and doing church things. So those are my reasons.

So since January, I have continued on my hair journey and realized more about it. I have gotten the pre-teaching of the year award and graduated from college!!! HIP HIP HURRAY!!!

I've taken, and passed one CSET (general science 118) Hip Hip HURRAY!!! And I took and did not pass the other (errr!!) But I will when I take it again.

I've gotten admitted into the Santa Clara University Credential Program. HIP HIP HURRAY!!!! And so I will begin classes in July (no long summer break for me : /)

I am well on my way to becoming a teacher!!! I want to cry because I am so proud of myself. Lord knows God, family, friends, SCU staff and professors have helped me, but I did it! And I had a lot of drama and issues in my 4 years! I am so happy and so very very blessed!

 So I'm thinking of starting a blog for my student teaching...who knows. 

I want to leave my 7 followers (and all who may stop by) with this. As I graduated, I realized how scary succeeding actually is. There is a new pressure that is put upon you. This is not a boo hoo session, but it came as a surprise for me. There is something scary about going after your dream, and it reminded me of this poem. I truly understand it now. No matter how scary going after your dream may be, go for it! For it really does help to liberate others : )

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. 

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. 

It is our light, not our darkness

That most frightens us.

We ask ourselves

Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be? 

You are a child of God.

Your playing small 

Does not serve the world. 

There's nothing enlightened about shrinking 

So that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine, 

As children do. 

We were born to make manifest 

The glory of God that is within us.

It's not just in some of us; 

It's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, 

We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. 

As we're liberated from our own fear, 

Our presence automatically liberates others.

-Marianne Williamson

The Vulnerability of Being You

Hello All!

Yes I'm still alive and well. In my senior year of college!!! WHOOHOO!Needless to say, I've been I moved into my own apartment. There will be creative explorations showing DIY things to spruce up a home and whatnot.  I've been working, studying, teaching, and traveling!! I went to New York! I'll have a post on that soon about my over all experience and pictures/videos.

But something else is new too. I'm transitioning from relaxed hair to my natural curl pattern. There is plenty of information on how to transition and what to expect hair wise. I have to say what took me for a loop was how emotionally scary transitioning can be.

I have always been a pretty confident person. Note I said confident. NOT conceited. And I never really have question what people think, etc as much as I have while transitioning. But when you feel you look horrible because you have fuzzies everywhere or because your hair is flying every which way, it's easy to doubt yourself.There have been many a time where I have looked in a mirror and felt ugly because my hair would not go how I wanted it...or the gel was not slicking down my edges enough.

But it's interesting. Because not only am I accepting my hair...it feels as if I'm embracing me. My mind is transitioning too (if that makes any sense). It's accepting this new aspect of me. I love my curls and the more they come in the more I love it. It takes me 3 hours to detangle and braid my hair in a braid out. And although my arms tingle with pain after 1 1/2 hours of detangling I am fascinated by my curls. They are beautiful. And I catch myself smiling in the mirror glimpsing my beauty. I cannot wait until my whole head is filled with these curls. Right now I feel odd because about 4-5 inches of my hair is curly. The rest is limp and straight. These areas do not match whatsoever and it looks odd.

What has helped the most is looking in the mirror and reminding myself that the world will not notice my fuzzies as much as I do. And to figure out styles that I am comfortable with that make me feel like I look good. I have gotten lots of compliments on my braidouts and although at first I did not like it, I do now.

I have adjusted to the fact that my hair is not going to lay down nicely like it use to and that it takes longer to detangle (but I only detangle once a week so it trades off). I realized I'm showing the world a side of me that even I have not seen before. And it's scary, thrilling, mystifying, and exciting all at the same time.