The Vulnerability of Being You

Hello All!

Yes I'm still alive and well. In my senior year of college!!! WHOOHOO!Needless to say, I've been I moved into my own apartment. There will be creative explorations showing DIY things to spruce up a home and whatnot.  I've been working, studying, teaching, and traveling!! I went to New York! I'll have a post on that soon about my over all experience and pictures/videos.

But something else is new too. I'm transitioning from relaxed hair to my natural curl pattern. There is plenty of information on how to transition and what to expect hair wise. I have to say what took me for a loop was how emotionally scary transitioning can be.

I have always been a pretty confident person. Note I said confident. NOT conceited. And I never really have question what people think, etc as much as I have while transitioning. But when you feel you look horrible because you have fuzzies everywhere or because your hair is flying every which way, it's easy to doubt yourself.There have been many a time where I have looked in a mirror and felt ugly because my hair would not go how I wanted it...or the gel was not slicking down my edges enough.

But it's interesting. Because not only am I accepting my hair...it feels as if I'm embracing me. My mind is transitioning too (if that makes any sense). It's accepting this new aspect of me. I love my curls and the more they come in the more I love it. It takes me 3 hours to detangle and braid my hair in a braid out. And although my arms tingle with pain after 1 1/2 hours of detangling I am fascinated by my curls. They are beautiful. And I catch myself smiling in the mirror glimpsing my beauty. I cannot wait until my whole head is filled with these curls. Right now I feel odd because about 4-5 inches of my hair is curly. The rest is limp and straight. These areas do not match whatsoever and it looks odd.

What has helped the most is looking in the mirror and reminding myself that the world will not notice my fuzzies as much as I do. And to figure out styles that I am comfortable with that make me feel like I look good. I have gotten lots of compliments on my braidouts and although at first I did not like it, I do now.

I have adjusted to the fact that my hair is not going to lay down nicely like it use to and that it takes longer to detangle (but I only detangle once a week so it trades off). I realized I'm showing the world a side of me that even I have not seen before. And it's scary, thrilling, mystifying, and exciting all at the same time.