What not to put on a job application

Hehe ok first Blog post yay! Have no idea what to put lol. Honestly I'm transferring stuff I posted on myspace here at the moment. Anyway found this a couple years ago and still find it hilarious lol enjoy:

Name: Who want's to know?

Postion: Reclining haha. but seriously anything availible. if I was in a position to be picy I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

Desired Salary: $185,000 a year plus stock options. If that's not possible make an offer. We can haggle.

Education: Yes.

Last Postion: Target for middle management hostility

Salary: Less than I'm worth

Most Notable Achievement: My incredible collection of "borrowed" pens and post-it notes

Reason for Leaving: It sucked.

Hours Availible to Work: Any

Preferred Hours: 1:30-3-30 Monday,Tuesday. and Thursday.

Do You Have Any Special Skills: Yes, my ninja moves

May We Contact Your Current Employer: If I had one, would I be here?

Do You Have Any Physical Conditions That Would Prohibit You From Lifting 50IBs.: Of what?

Do You Have A Car: I think the more appropriate question is "Do you have a car that runs?"

Have You Recieved any Special awards or recognition: I may already be a winner of Publisher's Clearinghouse Sweepstakes

Do You Smoke: Only when set on fire

What Would You Like To Be Doing In Five Years: Living in the Bahamas with a ridiculously wealthy supermodel who thinks I'm the best thing since sliced bread.

Do You Certify That All Of The Above Is True And Complete To The Best Of Your Knowledge: No, but I dare yo uto prove otherwise.

Sign Here: Scorpio with a Libra rising.